So a month from now I should be sitting in Mexico enoying the sunshine and vacation! I got my first passport! Hah the lady said the picture was meant to look like a mugshot so we couldn't smile. Jen claims I look like I am smirking. I told her its because its hard to not smile when someone says you are not allowed to. O_O

Spent the day with my furry children...it was nice out so I brought the kitties outside to enjoy some good ol sun shine! It was Koby's first time on a harness and he actually did really well. I took pictures of course and will post them tommorow. I have decided that I should start using this again at the frequency I did when I first started my first journal. It's weird how talking about your day on here sometimes relieves the stress. I even took my pup to the park and we splashed through all the mud puddles and had a good ol time! lol

So we had our first thanksgiving at the house...it was crazy. But I enjoyed it...everyone we invited showed up, and most of them didn't leave till about 3am. Which was pretty fun since we hardly ever have anyone over. The bad thing was Jenny had to leave by 5am for work. Jenni had to leave by 3am for work. Tom and Matt had to leave by 7am. And Jenni's 12 year old daughter and I headed out to do black friday shopping at 4am. Man by the time I got home I was USELESS! I decided to take a bath since I was so cold and I ended up falling asleep so I got out of there and watched some "What not to wear" LOL. Finally around 10am I gave in and laid on the couch and passed out till about 4pm. Then I went to bed last night at about 11pm and slept till 11am LOL. I swear now I feel horrid because I slept too much. That shouldn't exist...lol


On the bad side my clean spotless house is a disaster and I have this kitchen FULL of dishes and my fridge throws things at me when I try to open it.

I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I won't be surprised if you have all deleted me.

Sometimes I just want to walk outside and tilt my chin upwards and just scream until I'm hoarse. Just letting everything that's weighing me down come out. But I normally don't do that. I bite my tongue till blood begins to make little rivers down my chin. Tilting my head a bit I can almost picture my weakness in those moments. I want to be the one who doesn't give a fuck. I want to be the one whos strong and brave. But things in the past make me stay in this position where I just can't get up off my knees and walk away. I'm scared of the consequences, I'm scared of that nagging feeling to just shut up before I make it worse. So I just play a game of pretend....its almost funny how good you can get at it.

I don't want to get into some huge discussion right now but all I would like to say is.....if Obama gets elected I really REALLY hope he does a good job. I mean who would have thought hundreds of years ago that a black man could be president? I just worry if he does a crappy job it could end up a huge setback for the African Americans or any other race to be a president. Make sense? Eh it does in my head!

Sorry I haven't been a good commentor! I have been preparing for my trip which is the 2nd - the 8th so when I get back I swear I will check all your journals! <3

-pet products because I need them! lol
-hair products because they are overpriced!
-meat because side dishes are easy and cheap :D